Positive parenting is not just about techniques or methods. It has to start with a Right Mental Model - "I Understand. I Trust my Child".
Mental Model is a mental framework or attitude that shapes how we perceive and interact with the world. In the context of parenting, this is a way of thinking, a philosophy, and an attitude that guides our actions and decisions as parents. It's not just about using specific strategies or techniques, but rather a fundamental shift in how we view and approach parenting. Simply put, it is a Belief.
Without a helpful mental model, even the best parenting strategies may fall short. Thus, before we try out any strategies, let's adopt this first - "I Understand. I Trust my Child". This means:
Developing trust and belief that our child is capable, competent; has a desire to do well, be cooperative; and wants to be a better version of himself/herself.
Developing empathy, and an understanding why children misbehave, or fail to cooperate at times.
When parents trust and believe their child, take the time to understand the underlying reasons for their child's misbehavior, we are more likely to respond in a calm, patient, and compassionate manner. It helps parents to:
See beyond the behavior, Assume Good Intentions: Parents presume their child is trying their best, attempt to understand the emotions, needs, and struggles that may be driving the behavior (instead of just focusing on the misbehavior, and assuming they're being defiant or lazy).
Avoid taking it personally: Parents recognize that their child's behavior is not a personal attack on them, but rather a cry for help or a sign of struggle.
Respond rather than react: With empathy and understanding, parents can respond thoughtfully to their child's behavior, rather than simply reacting impulsively.
Practice active listening: Parents make an effort to truly listen to their child, understanding their perspective and validating their emotions, helping their child feel heard, seen, and valued.
Focus on encouragement: Parents emphasize encouragement and support, are more likely to use positive, empowering language, highlighting strengths and accomplishments, rather than criticism and punishment.
Emphasize learning over failure: Parents view mistakes as opportunities for growth and learning, rather than as failures.
Offer autonomy and choices: Parents give children age-appropriate independence and choices, promoting self-regulation and responsibility.
When parents trust and believe in their child, they can create a safe and supportive environment that allows them to grow, learn, and thrive. Combining this trust with effective parenting strategies, parents can foster a strong, healthy relationship with their child, leading to positive outcomes and a nurturing space that promotes healthy development, resilience, and happiness for the whole family. This empowering environment not only benefits children but also enriches the lives of parents, creating a cycle of love, growth, and joy that resonates throughout the family
"Positive Parenting Starts with the Right Mental Model"
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